As I spoke with an FFR participant this week regarding his recovery program it was obvious to me what the solution would be for his problem. However I learned a long time ago when I too was early in my recovery and found myself struggling to stay sober, that the most valuable way of learning is discovering the solution on my own, no matter how painful that discovery may bring. I found myself in the most unique situations as I continued studying the Book of Alcoholic Anonymous and what I found out about myself was something very interesting. I found out that unless I felt I was in control of the situation I had no peace in my life. Therefore I found comfort in my compulsive behavior of alcohol consumption. I found out that I had to stop playing God. I found that out on Page 62 which states;
“So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kill us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help.
This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most Good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.”
WOW! This discovery for me personally led me through that “triumphant arch” to freedom. It was then I realized that I needed to let go of past hurts and surely the resentments that I was holding onto as a false sense of control. My problem was I felt justified and that one day I would have by say with the person(s) that caused me the hurt in my life. However I realized at that very moment perhaps the behaviors of others were indeed my pre-expectations of how I viewed others. I had to surrender this to the Lord before I could proceed in my own pathway of recovery.
Perhaps my participant will discover this as he reads page 62 or even better as he reads Psalms 23 which states:
“The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything I need. He lets me rest in fields of green grass and leads me to quiet pools of fresh water. He gives me new strength. He guides me in the right paths, as he has promised.”